no more piggies. end. i'm not mad or even hurted. i'm just MALAS.
bunch of man who i malas nak entertain. i think i better focus on something cooler and benefiting me.
1. gym? 2. studying? 3. family? 4. comfy friends?
5. flirting? a close-distance flirt. we communicate and it stop there. day by day basis. jumpa, flirt and stop. it goes on with different person each time. yes, it may not be fun to any of you, but to me it will be. why?
no attachment.
i will feel like a princess each time. with every of different person i meet
(simply becos men are known to act decent, friendly or good mula-mula je. to certain extend, u can see the jerk part he can't hide. true colour revealed. i dont want to know that part and entertain their insanity point. call me a diva or anything. entertaining them as in putting myself in a shaken glass. i dont need a shaken glass)
fun!
i need cute guys. if they are playboy, i couldnt care less. at least, i go out with eyes nicely cleared :P non-good looking guys (we considered them though they arent that cute, handsome etc) , perangai mcm SIAL jugak. so, which risk i should put into? cute guys who have bad reputation or ugly guys who can be the master of jerks? my answer is obvious :)
i love to be mysterious. the lesser they know me, the better.
no-feeling should be express. heart to heart thing dah getting nonsense to me.
and again, PRINCESS treatment! i mention it twice showing how that feels so DAMN GOOD. the feeling is unexplainable. best word i could think, CLOUD 9. though it will only be seconds
flirting would be the last requirement. but it can be in the list, considering the occasion, mood and time. so far as for now, i feel normal. nothing to flirt. i would prefer the top 4 :)
i'm going back to KL today. hoorrraayyy! :) yes, i'm happy. splendidly happy.
i read one random blog. he said something about being who u are even when u r blogging. many didnt. they become something they are not. to attracts other bloggers or just because it is their alter ego which can't be apply in real life.
today, i'm on a reality check. i will be myself as i'm outside.
i have always applied a comfort zone blogging. i extract the genes and make it one shot, one line, not direct and being the only person who understands. sometimes, a blogger who is a thinker and perhaps my friends knows what i meant.
not today, i wont. everybody can know (the one that have my blog, kawan2 follower i je. thats a relieved *smiling)
it's morning. i'm basically in a better shape. than yesterday and the rest of 2 weeks. i hope it stays until i'm back to school *better shape. crossfingers
i have many plans. very.
short term plan would be cleaning up my hamster's cage. they are so smelly now! kesian.. poor the pairs. so, probably this saturday.. i would go buy them a proper meal and their sandbath or a shampoo for hamster. they are so cute to get that smelly! sayang mereka. oh, their name is Jerry and Aaoki, if i havent mentioned them before. p/s: i'm going there with the daddy's hamster :P
half long term. as in for few months.
1) buying my own Blackberry. insyaallah with my own money. will try to pujuk papa later. hopefully he can add some few hundreds in there.
2) going to Penang!! as odd as it can be, i never ever hit my lazy feet to Penang. whats nice in there by the way? the plan consist of four people - the marriage couples, ijad and ili, fify and I. we'll celebrate Christmas there :) i thought of chilling at the new Hard Rock Cafe there. look interesting. nak cuba tgklah. ijad may not be used to it. but since he got his wife in his arm, i think he'll agree *wink
2) concert NE-YO perhaps? still considering since my bestfriend brother's wedding is on the 9th january. the ne-yo thing will be on 7th. aisha did asked me to go. will see howlah
3) farhanah brother's wedding of course. his name is Lee. so yea, i promised to be the bridesmaid. i am not quite sure actually now since i gain more pounds rather than losingg! :( i promised farhanah to lose weight. so, i have to start presumely this week. as soon as i step my feet to KL. fitness first bebeh! yes! hehe
4) losing more pounds in 6 month. promised being made to certain people. need to kick my butts to the gym
long term
-just getting better and better in studying. keep ambitious and not to lose it. insyaallah
yes. marry me. it is an open invitation. i know i've hurt many in the process of dating via no string attach. but it really don't work out on me. so yea, MARRY ME. because dating come afterward :)
suddenly, meeting my bestfriend this Tuesday shaken me. i can't figure out why
it was 2 years back when we last met. exactly the 12 o'clock of my sweet 20th. we always stay reconnected regardless the tense or happy times. as any other besfriend, we do fight. and when it happened, we back off for a while. giving US space
-that explains us-
this past few days was my peak moments. yesterday, dale called. despite the fact that where are so much away from each other lately. busy and naturally not attached, he successfully makes me sober. especially when i am indeed require a shoulder to lean on. he was always there during the insanity point. i only realize that when we hang up. it feels good. he such a very good BFF. i am overwhelmed
i will be bullshitting myself believing that i'm 24/7 happy. it's very hard to handle certain things alone sometime. i smile when my mind said otherwise. believing that i'm on my own and need someone is pretty scary. the alone part unsuccessfully affect me but when my mindset said -u need someone- it gives me goosebumps. i tend to do irrational act. however, i am certain on one very thing. i am not getting happier but putting myself into risk and more risk. i suddenly becomes too active yet i have a heart of an empty soul. as many knows, i am an impulsive person. i enjoyed being one but having to go that extreme?
lately, i am back to reality - living independently. i reckon this is the right action because independent gives me back my life. where i wont care much on entertaining others or putting my space over some crap people. i will just hold my time strictly to whoever i care the most and do whatever i feel good :) this is how i had presented AINAA YASMIN and i am damn well used to that.
i'm trying to cope up with the fact that i can neglect them and be back as i used to.
i miss my old me. those girl with passion and freedom energy.
but i love what i am now:
-the woman full with great family, friends and supports -full of confidence -despite her heartless method, she is still smiling and vivacious of her life. -she is full at heart. filling it with not being a slave for love but an independent lover :) -ready to accepting.
she is changing bit by bit. i know the process will take more than a while. but i am openly accepting the challenge. i start slow but it worth the shot. i have to get out from my secured shell. i just need to BE OUT.
i am a MOMMY of my BABIES HAMSTER now. and i am happy having them. i did change something about myself, being the caretaker.
i listen to this song everyday. as if i'm addicted by it. no matter i'm in the mood to dance, being moody, cranky or getting sad, i can't help but to get high. its my tune of boredom-comforting.
i miss mr sunshine. becos? he's POYO. yes, i love someone with sense of humor.
i miss mr puppy. why? since he's my best girlfriend. who can make myself feels true. i can tell my darkest secrets and i know he can keep it well. proof? simple. he was the devil. playing with sins once. we can talk kinky without being horny and laugh about it later. yes, we did. surprise kan? :P
they are the ingredients who complete the dishes. good friends who i can counts on. i like them.
i don't share that much to people. most of the time, i don't feel like one. at times, i still don't share much. i blog.
this blog to my surprised known by some people already. some i never expected. i try to keep it very2 obscene. so it'll be easy to bitch about people. so i can share my darkest moments. so, i can be dumb and not to be ashamed of it. so i can be boring without peoples bitching.
i suppose that part, will stay in draft for the time-being.
yesterday wasn't that good. my heart ached. the reason was simple. breakfasting dinner with family's brother was canceled because i fell asleep. silly, silly! and i mourned, devastated imagining how the house would be with my nephews running around pretending as they kononnya fasting too. ramadhan reminds me so much of family. without family, i feel the absence of ramadhan's joy. what to do. i was the one who messed things up. i lost the mood to break fast later. luckily, my friends bought me foods so i reluctantly escape starving.
its fasting month starting saturday. and i still haven't touch the gym.
i plan to work out during ramadhan. possibly at night. if only my education do not requires me that much.
why i do gym?
simple.
- to have a figure as drew barrymore and a leg like rihanna. - to look freaking HOTTSZ :P nolah, cantik would be just nice. - fashion is what i am passionate on. to certain limits - i'm addicted. reducing some pounds gives me varieties of clothes to wear, without being insecure. - simply to forget certain things. - stress treatment - to feel as i'm still in the zone of being with the crowd, socializing. despite the busyness - so that when i'm in a date or being match-make, i would be flirtatious enough to show off. haha does that counts? :P
i have enough of stupid arguments. i don't intend to deal and repair it.
if it means it has to end- than be it. how sad it can be.. i am heartless to care.
thinking is the last thing i would love doing - THATS IT.
to whoever i care before, i still care BUT i dont intend to try being close so that i would satisfied you. i let it FLOWS and if there aren't any - there wont be one.
if i have to choose between burdening others or being alone and in difficulties, i would choose the second. tho it means i have to face great danger for being brave. i'm used of the word - independent and handling things my own way.
it's 7.08.2009. i was laying on my bed thinking of the previous years. way back.
i was 10. i saw a new student came, with her rough act and a bold attitude. i would consider her as a non-famous student, living in her own world with her friends. she was feared by most of the students. she sat behind me, so we became friends afterward. i'm not keen to know her nor to avoid her. biasa2 je. the bonding became closer from one day to another. we became good playmate friends. at the age of 12, everyone flew everywhere to another important stage in our life - high school. so as us. we stopped there.
matric in my 18. orientation week. i was with wanadia (ex-primary schoolmate). someone unfamiliar sat behind me.. again. IT WAS ILI! the same feeling - biasa2 je. the bonding was created as before. one stage to the other. in between those moments, from 18-22, many things happened. tears, joys - its all combined.
we are 22! we become bestfriends and she's getting married... TODAY!
it is fast.. too fast. yesterday, she was a young rough kid with bold gangster look. today, she's a swan angel with wings.. time flies so fast and i miss those moments. we reckon, our mad days was stupid at one point. very. however, it was contradict. i must say it was what we missed, we shared and we laughed on. i don't wish to rewind but aiming for upcoming years plainly because our time is still ticking :)
i may be brave enough. but hey, i've done it! rather than keep it, it's good to share.
yes, i met someone i never know.. this was all my cousin's idea! and seduce me to involve. it was not a date. i brought my cousin with me.. so i won't feel akward meeting this stranger.. we met in terengganu. he was here for 3 days 2 night, outstation.
vice versa. it was nothing i ever expected. i thought i'll have him for 5 minutes, than that was it. to my surprise, it turns out very well.. he such a friendly man and funny. we hang out for two days in a role. he looks cuter in real life and not that fatty as in pictures. i steal some from his website as well :) to give his real looks.
on our first meeting, it was his 2nd day, at night. it was okay.. we just talk. although he's kinda matured in age, but okla.. we can go along. the 3rd day shows his true color. looks decent but naughty, behaving still and a gentleman. he pays for everything! although i insisted not to. we brought him for high-tea, ate all the celup tepung seafood in some warung and went for sight-seeing around those very fisherman beach area.
this is the oldies fishermen spot to hangover, having random chat and smoking. my eyes strike upon these people, so i snap a picture when we cross these men by car. one of the oldies greet us by waving. we laugh tremendously. hehe i LOVE THIS
this was taken with his Blackberry. so, the quality not that expensive. i saw the magnificent horse swimming so we park the car there and then. the place were very Kampungish with horses and villagers by the beach. unfortunately, i didn't take the whole scenery.
so far, the meeting ends well. despite the accident we went through where these two bikes hit us. it was not our fault and they did not blame us either. it was good he was with us, saving our ass off and scared those strangers away. hehe we even laugh about it :P thank god, our car didn't scratch a bit. i sent him to the airport and we still contact each other sometimes. it is a good and a fresh start of having a new friend.
images below don't represents him in real life tho. nevermind.. as long we do have pictures together, thats even better
i have many to tell. i constantly remind myself to update blogs and the ideas flows by. i stuck half way due to the hectic life I undergo for this period of time. i thought 3 month holidays means rest. it was the opposite. i am so very busy that i have to balance times among family, relatives and friends. alhamdullillah, i manage to stabilizes the ticking clock although the rush kicks in from one place to the other.
i will update slowly. the story however will mix up and wont be in accurate time. too many to even organized it well..
THE LAST TWO DAYS
i paint a house! penat.. VERY. i can't even explain it by words. i spread the painting everywhere up to my face. it's all muddy and my cloth covered well in pink. hehe guess why pink? we mostly coloured the house PINK. it was granny's idea :P besides, it is her house - for rent. though the painting agak mess up, tapi kira okayla.. semua nonprofessionals punyer kerja. i am still proud of the results though :) granny cooked us - nasi lemak and bihun goreng - for the two days of hard work. the best part, we got salary too! thanks granny..
the people behind the scene: myself, kaklong - cousin, amal - brother, granny.
the chairman of our little project - MOK
kaklong with her night ' kelawar' :D we coloured ourself sampai malam
all ME - ainaa's touch. proud painter :P introduce to you... messy painting by ainaa and amal
the last pictures of our two non-rest days. kesian my little brother. sampai demam.
she insisted to come to terengganu on holidays rather than following her JB friends to melacca for a farewell trip. her friend will fly to ausy. as part of me, of course i welcome her with full hand. so by now, i have to graph in papers where to head off. i wont make her bored while her stays here. foods satisfaction confirmed!
aisha is somewhat into the beach. she's in the right land with the right hand :)
the booking is done. she will put her feet into the sandy beach and turtle's land on June 21st-24th. i do plan to bring her to some island. perhentian or maybe redang. even a day trip, its something to be remember. i will invite her on a cruise. cruise? LOL it sounds so wrong. we call it -bot tambang- cheap. RM2 per trip.
i won't elaborates much on our destination. if i did, it won't be a thrill anymore. besides, i still need a story for the next blog.
i told myself not to update any pictures. i need a time off and some privacy. since i promised kak jaja to tag her, i put one in FB so far. will update more later.
i reveal my dorky pictures, humbly. i give special excess to bloggers :)
its 6.06.2009. weddings were everywhere. we head off to her house around 7.30pm after we found the hall where the wedding should be already ended. kesian kak jaja have to entertain us after her long tiring day. special privilege been given to us- we got to see her room and lepak there. thanks kak jaja! she looks astonishingly beautiful too.
they are so many false hope out there. until i find it bored having them around. so bored, i can live without them.
terlalu ramai lelaki gatal sekarang. laki org tp ada hati nk curang. tunang orang tp ada hati nk scandal sana sini. kekasih orang tp ada hati mengaku single. single tp failed as a man, badly. comfort zone? jauh sekali. perangai mcm sial. ada hati nk sentuh itu ini.
every penny of the statement, that is where i stand. i give up fighting. its tiring. damn tiring. i am so jaded i can turn into lesbian anytime soon. ( its the metaphor talking )
yet, they still keep coming. and its very hard to resist at times. we are there when they are not. they are there when we couldn't care less.
siblings. they fight so much they cant counts. today, i am among them. i don't fight much. i get pissed and it can amounts only when,
-1st, if i have to defense myself. -2nd, if they get too personal. way personal. -3rd, when they are rude to my parents.
both two is my not acceptable one. one of them cross it today, so he got paid big time by me. guess what? he came by and try to peace things up. it always end up not more than a day or an hour. but i wunna spice things up a lil bit more.. for self-gratification. double that up, let make him suffer sikit. i wunna teach him a lesson, absorb some pain and because it's just plain fun! :P
this guy have this aura with his ignorance attitude, melting girls away everytime. pls do not make me start on our past. enough said, girls always begging an eye from him. sometimes, i wonder if he's a gay, disregard all the beauties. hehe
i'm glad we r good friends! we've made a promise if we get caught up with the girls/boys kacauing us (kalau kitorng hot someday lah), we will go have fun together. haha sounds evil but we need our space too. we make no harm :P
lets move on to the main topic.. SNAIL. how can this turns up? FARIS. among all others, he ask me to treat him, snails? AS OUR MEAL. i thought he was joking at first. not until he said, he'll cook it and even gave me the links. tangkap dekat dpn rumah pulak tu ( i dont know if he's kidding or not part dpn rumah tu)..
wunna see the Bon Appétit'?
FROM THIS
TO THIS
wunna see the faces who eat this. keep rolling..
and the kid who ate this is damn rich! org kaya je kot makan weird stuff. byk duit sgt kan. dah xtau nk habis duit gi mana.
my total summarization - YUKSS. tak makan pon tak apa.
crossfingers faris wont cook for me the -bizarre- dishes and do those puppy eyes to get my hand into this. ellghh
i'm so pissed i can't even talk. my hearts beats so fast i lost counts. some men cant watch their manners. they think we are in the same land. but hey, you are from mars, and we are from venus! some men cant understand "thats it means thats it". do not go overboard.. Annoying, thats the word. should just say -shut up- later. senang faham. when i am mad, i can do things extraordinaire. i am all craziness.
CRAVING.
i break my 2 weeks records, ditching them. WHITE FLAG. shitlah. this people knows better about treating others. in a way, i miss them. especially when i'm pissed, they know how to soothe things up. how can i ditch them? tell me how. i call ein, so i can fight with my ego not to call them. ein suggested, blog. so i can stop craving. but i lost..
1) too weak i guess. 2) hearing their voice just satisfied me. ainaa sayang mereka.. sayang? 3) because i blog after i called them. i should just blog before!
now, i can ditch them again, happilyy. sbb dah puas kan? :P
-witty -good sense of humor -creatively brilliant -well interpret. without the needs of being direct. -smart
both of this are new. i congratulate Yasmin Ahmad for her remarkable videos. she is born talented.
latest commercial from Yasmin Ahmad for Airasia
absolutely heart-shaking. made by Yasmin Ahmad for government of Singapore
*beautifully imperfect - this touched me.
i wunna be her someday.
10th may, the day to cherish all the mommys.
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY mama, the forever beautiful woman.
we went to ikea for mama's shopping's trip
again, her shopping's day. she scored for handbags and some jeweleries. hehe mak borek, anak rintik, kan ma? :P
my mom is and can be very2 outgoing. with the grandson as her match partner.
kyrin's 1st birthday party
location: abg ha's condo, damansara
thanks for sleeping with me today. and sorry papa for stealing her from u. it's our days u know. hehe mama, i know u want ur sassy perfume badly. that will be ur surprise mother's day present!
Kak Ada won today in Pesona NONA. congrats cousin!
i called her the same night. she converse a lot, fast and sounds excited. very. telling me the little things happened during the finale. it must not be easy, competing. i get that, winning and defeating others, even i will get so content, feet jumping up n down.
i must say, i am proud of her. among all others, she's the chosen one. i am not such a gratitude expresser in writing. i let the picture speaks for itself...
yes, this girl believes in fairytales.. she proves it too. who says fairytales don't come true? i may take her step one day though, involving in entertainment business or commercial. as a part time job of course. a host, i prefer a host :)
got a few offer already but... have to decline it. my university have this law thing, yada2.. too much to explain. the bottom line is, one day, i will get engage with this crap. when i'm ready..
yes, its CHLOE KARDASHIANS. u guys must wonder, why this girl among all others i google up. 1st, i have a lot of spare time. 2nd, she represents me.
i am basically more to chloe. or may be would love to be close as her. she's witty, hardworking, rebellious, favor privacy, into herself (in a good way), a limelight shadows (simply because she likes it), and most important, SINGLE (when everybody keeps complaining, she's cool with it).
melancholically, her style too.
these, symbolize me. u can skip the workaholic part.
i google up PATRICK DEMPSEY as well. just to gratify myself.
tell me, how could i not fall for this guy..
the smiles, eye-catching.never fail to jeopardize me.
Posts
