MARRY ME. because i'd want to date you

-MARRY ME. because i'd want to date you-

yes. marry me. it is an open invitation. i know i've hurt many in the process of dating via no string attach. but it really don't work out on me. so yea, MARRY ME. because dating come afterward :)

Reality Check

suddenly, meeting my bestfriend this Tuesday shaken me. i can't figure out why

it was 2 years back when we last met. exactly the 12 o'clock of my sweet 20th. we always stay reconnected regardless the tense or happy times. as any other besfriend, we do fight. and when it happened, we back off for a while. giving US space

-that explains us-

this past few days was my peak moments. yesterday, dale called. despite the fact that where are so much away from each other lately. busy and naturally not attached, he successfully makes me sober. especially when i am indeed require a shoulder to lean on. he was always there during the insanity point. i only realize that when we hang up. it feels good. he such a very good BFF. i am overwhelmed

i will be bullshitting myself believing that i'm 24/7 happy. it's very hard to handle certain things alone sometime. i smile when my mind said otherwise. believing that i'm on my own and need someone is pretty scary. the alone part unsuccessfully affect me but when my mindset said -u need someone- it gives me goosebumps. i tend to do irrational act. however, i am certain on one very thing. i am not getting happier but putting myself into risk and more risk. i suddenly becomes too active yet i have a heart of an empty soul. as many knows, i am an impulsive person. i enjoyed being one but having to go that extreme?

lately, i am back to reality - living independently. i reckon this is the right action because independent gives me back my life. where i wont care much on entertaining others or putting my space over some crap people. i will just hold my time strictly to whoever i care the most and do whatever i feel good :) this is how i had presented AINAA YASMIN and i am damn well used to that.

finding her OWNself

i'm trying to cope up with the fact that i can neglect them and be back as i used to.

i miss my old me. those girl with passion and freedom energy.

but i love what i am now:

-the woman full with great family, friends and supports
-full of confidence
-despite her heartless method, she is still smiling and vivacious of her life.
-she is full at heart. filling it with not being a slave for love but an independent lover :)
-ready to accepting.

she is changing bit by bit.
i know the process will take more than a while.
but i am openly accepting the challenge.
i start slow but it worth the shot.
i have to get out from my secured shell.
i just need to BE OUT.

i am a MOMMY of my BABIES HAMSTER now.
and i am happy having them.
i did change something about myself,
being the caretaker.

what about you?

when heart does not matter anymore

i've been kissed.

it was sweet but not that flattering.

a song of me

BE WITH YOU - AKON

i listen to this song everyday. as if i'm addicted by it. no matter i'm in the mood to dance, being moody, cranky or getting sad, i can't help but to get high. its my tune of boredom-comforting.

playing KATY PERRY

TOO NUMB to get connected and involved, i love playing 'katy perry'

cupid love

1ST AUGUST 2009 - diary

i can't never understand love. as much as i want to. nor want to find the logic now. i denied i need one without knowing i searched love in silence.

love is unknown to me. period.

i have not expressing feelings lately.

i had fever. i suffered. there and then, i knew i require someone. i miss love - clueless of how it suppose to feel.

but i loath the jerks so i stop being intimate.